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The fascinating World of Cuckolding - All the Secrets you need to know

What does “cuckold” mean?

You might have heard the term before - you might even have a vague notion of what it means - or you might have googled it before. One thing is certain: There are plenty of myths and confusion when it comes to cuckolding - but we are here to clear the air!

So, to begin solving this puzzle, let’s take a step back and talk about the very origin of the term: Birds. More specifically, cuckoo birds.

That’s right. The original cuckolders were our winged friends.

The term was originally coined in biology to describe the curious habit of female cuckoo birds laying their eggs in the nests of other birds so they can be taken care of by the unsuspecting adoptive parents.

Initially, the term had to do with a very ancient and vivid fear of men raising children who were not legitimately their offspring. This fear has been around ever since private property was implemented - and it was precisely this fear which justified a lot of the sexual opression imposed on women.

If all of this wasn’t interesting enough, this is only the tip of the iceberg.

Cuckolding as a fetish

Cuckolding sexy cartoon by Kinky Karrot

In mediaeval times, cuckold was the term created to describe men raising children who were not their own. However, nowadays the term is a lot broader; it serves to define a multitude of scenarios under the adultery umbrella.

While for some people cuckold is used exclusively to describe straight men in relationships with adulterous women, the term is also used for when girls are on the other side of the cheating. Some other specific scenarios include the fetish of watching your partner have sex with someone else, have your partner be impregnated by someone else, hear the details of your partner having sex of someone else and even engaging in polyamory - with various degrees of humiliation and submission being incorporated into play.

So, the cuckolding fetish actually means different things for different people - and there are lots of ways to incorporate it into your sex life.

However, some terms are more prominent in the fetish community - and we will dive into them next.

A quick cuckolding dictionary

  • Cuck The cuck is simply the person who is into cuckolding and/or is on the receiving end of infidelity.

  • Bull Male with whom infidelity happens. Generally dominant, but can also be submissive in the context of cuckquean.

  • Cuckcake The female equivalent of a bull.

  • Cuckquean The female equivalent of a cuck - whose unfaithful partner can be of any gender.

  • Hotwifing In this variation of cuckolding, the thrill is in showing off how hot your partner is to other people - hence the “hotwife”, even if they don't necessarily have to be necessarily a female or a wife. The whole process of having other people interested in the partner is part of the fetish, and the cuck is more in control and more involved. In this case, they are called a “stag.”

The cuckold fetish in real life

How to tell if you have a cuckold fetish

Like we said, cuckolding means a variety of things, so you don’t necessarily need to be fantasizing about being humiliated while your spouse fucks someone else to have fun with it. If the idea of even talking about your SO being with somebody else is somewhat a turn on you might have a cuckold fetish.

There is a widespread cucking community online which emcopasses cuckcakes, bulls, and everything in between. Browsing around, reading their experiences might be a good way to find out if this is something you’d like to explore in real life.

The unspoken benefits of cuckold

Cuckolding plays directly with one of the most primal and ancient of our instincts, and pushing the boundaries around this taboo can be incredibly hot. But beyond that, practising cuckolding can lead to improvement in communication skills, and open a lot of possibilities in bed.

Cuckold and race

If you have seen the term solely on mainstream porn sites, you might be scratching your head now because in those videos, what usually happens is a white man is cuck while his white spouse has sex with a black man.

This derives from a lot of extremely racist and offensive notions; the objectifying stigma that black men are highly sexualized and more sexually fit; that the ultimate humilitaion to a white man is to have his wife cheat on him with a black man, and that interracial sexual relationships are inherantly predatory.

However, this highly inappropriate and sensationalised version of cuckold is something found in mainstream porn versus the bulk of the cuckolding community in real life. Also, these racial stereotypes are highly specific to US culture.

Regardless, cuckolding is not an excuse or outlet for racism - and it’s a shame that mainstream porn has made it look like it is.

How to play with cuckold

Importance of open communication

Here at Kinky Karrot we are ALWAYS preaching communication is key in any fetish - and that is because it’s true.

Introducing the subject of playing with infidelity can be delicate, and you should always take it slow and never, ever, force your partner into something they are not entirely comfortable with.

Instead, talk to them about what is the turn on for you and maybe include the fantasy just talking about it and slowly building up to maybe having someone else join you in bed.

Creating scenarios in which this fantasy comes to life can be great fun and incredibly hot.

Incorporate it into sexting

Sexting is a great way to start toying with cuckoldry because it allows for the imagination to run fast. Describe in detail what you’d like to see your partner doing with someone else - or if you are on the other end of it, pretend to be narrating an adulterous encounter.


Flirting is not only fun, but fuel to keep the flame alive. Sometimes cuckolding doesn’t have to go all the way; just watching the partner flirt with someone else is enough to ignite the fire. Make sure you talk beforehand to have clear boundaries, pick a hotspot and get to flirting!

Sex and cuckolding

When you are ready to take the final step, there are some places you can find a possible partner. If the fetish is quite specific and involves humiliations and/or BDSM, you might be better off looking for someone within the established community.

Swing clubs are also a great way to start - and if you prefer to search online, apps such as Feeld can be a great aid.

In conclusion; like many fetishes, cuckolding is a lot of things. But whatever it means to you, it can be a tool to come in contact with deep fears, own them and ressignify them. And also, it can be a ton of fun!

Have you ever had any experiences with cuckolding? Tell us all about it in the comment section on the very bottom of this page!!