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  • Julia Burghardt

From shoes to balloons: Finding Your Fetish

"Fetish"? I don't have one!" At least that's what most people would say when you ask them. Yet many people don't know exactly what is behind a fetish and that they might even have one themselves. Here you can find out everything about the buzzword, behind which there is so much.

Pet Play Art horse play by Kinky Karrot

What exactly is a fetish?

Could you be more specific about what is and what is not a fetish? No? Then you're like a lot of people. The term fetish is often used indiscriminately by many, precisely because they cannot define it properly. If you like buying shoes, you have a shoe fetish. If you like to eat the same food, this can also be interpreted as a fetish for fun. And even though many people associate the term with sexuality, they do not always know exactly what is behind it. Sure, people with a fetish like a special thing more than others and for example like feet. But it is not that simple. Fortunately, science has taken a closer look at the term. Fetishism therefore describes on the one hand the sexual occupation of a certain part of the body. Simply put, people with a fetish are sexually aroused, for example, by hands, feet, the neck or any other part of the body. Fetishists who are fixated on this completely block out the person behind the body part that excites them - they turn this part of the body into an object, so to speak. Likewise, people with a fetish can also be aroused by substances, materials or objects. With such a fetish, there is already a "non-living" object that is sexually arousing and causes a certain kick. Fetishists often experience the arousal by this object much more strongly than in normal sex or other practices. But your arousal does not always have to end directly in sex - no matter what fetish. Many people live out their fetish even in everyday life and do not jump on each other. Just as well, some fetishists can sleep with their partners and become aroused without always living out their preference. The term is therefore not necessarily associated with pure sex, but rather with arousal. Often the line between Kink, BDSM and fetish is blurred.

How does a fetish evolve?

People could name the preference for the first time in the 18th century. The term originally comes from the Portuguese and means something like spell or magic. Often a fetish was something spiritual, which was also used at masses and ceremonies. It was not until the 19th century that the term was also associated with something sexual. Either way it becomes clear that fetishes seem to be as old as sexuality itself. Scientists and sex therapists still disagree on why a fetish develops. Many believe that a fetish is formed in childhood and arises from initial traumas or stimuli. This can be, for example, the withdrawal of love by the parents, but it does not necessarily have to have such serious and traumatic reasons. Another theory says that the development of a fetish is shaped by the parents' handling of sexuality. So if your parents were more open and talked to you about sex frequently, this may encourage a fetish later on - but also the exact opposite may cause the development of a fetish. Some scientists also believe that films and the media have a considerable influence on the development of a fetish. They shape our understanding of sex and show us worlds that would probably not have opened up to us on their own.

Why it is great to have a fetish?

You have probably also experienced how the word fetish has been used as an exaggeration of one of your preferences or negative attachment to one of your quirks. But the preference is a great thing that can enrich your life and nobody has to be ashamed of it as long as nobody gets hurt by it. It takes not only courage to admit to a fetish, but also time. To discover a preference or even a fetish always means that you had to go on a journey of discovery beforehand. You have explored your sexuality and you can be proud of it. But there are also people who need medical treatment because of their fetish. But this is rather the exception. A fetish only becomes problematic if it endangers or unpleasantly restricts yourself or others in everyday life. Then a conversation with a doctor or psychologist can help to manage the fetish better. Fetishists often seek medical help if their sense of shame restricts them in their daily life or sexually. For some, the relationship also suffers from a strong fetish - perhaps even a couples therapy can help both sides to understand each other better and to get along better.

How popular is the foot fetish really?

The variety of fetishes is almost infinite and can have very different origins, from the intended control of power, to the feeling of pain, to changes in dominance. In everyday life we seem to encounter the foot fetish most often. Yet it is not as widespread as many people think. Much more popular for some time now is, for example, the so-called figging. Here a piece of ginger is inserted and the affected person finds the pain caused by it exciting. Besides this very special fetish there are a number of others that are very popular, as these three examples show: Pony Play - the game with the unusual Pony Play is not an unknown fetish and many people know it at least by sight - even if it is only from film and television. No wonder, because if it is practiced outside the own four walls, it is hardly to be overlooked! People with this fetish like to dress up as a horse or ride people dressed as a pony. It does not have to come to sex under any circumstances. It is rather about the change from human to horse and the dominance connected with it. The person who slips into the role of the horse gives up all human behaviour and only listens to the command of the "rider". The Pony Play is often supported by masks or suits, which should represent a horse made of latex or other materials. Balloon fetish - the ASMR of the scene With the balloon fetish people find the sounds or the material of balloons excitingThis fetish is probably one of the most extraordinary and at first sight has nothing to do with sexuality. But a surprising number of people fall for it. With the balloon fetish people find the sounds or the material of balloons exciting. They let them burst or rub against them. What sounds absurd at first, however, can be easily explained. The shape, the sound and also the material of a balloon have a calming effect on many people. The possibility that it can burst at any time gives the additional feeling of power. Already the fetish doesn't sound so strange anymore, does it? Sapiosexuality - the fetish of the masse humans find intelligence arousing.Sapio what? Sapiosexuality is one of the most common fetishes. Here, humans find intelligence arousing. Sounds familiar? This fetish has especially many people and even if it does not sound like it at first sight, intelligence is seen more as an object. So the person "behind the brain" recedes into the background and the appearance does not play such a big role anymore. But what exactly is understood as intelligent depends on the fetishist and his preferences.

Besides these examples, there are still incredibly many and exciting fetishes that are worth a look. You want to learn more? Then stay tuned - from now on we will inform you regularly about the most different fetishes. Until then, feel free to write us about which fetishes you would like to learn more about or share your experiences with us We are looking forward to hearing from you in the comment section on the very bottom of this page!

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