Self-masturbation may be unjustifiably considered taboo for some - but the truth is it is something very exciting and enticing - especially for people with vulvas. And if you're looking to get started on fingering masturbation but don’t know where to begin, you’ve come to the right place. In this guide you’ll find a complete step-by-step on how to finger yourself and make the absolute most of it.
And just an important reminder; fingering can relate to anal and/or vaginal penetration, and it’s done by people of all genders. In this article, however, we will focus on a “fingering yourself how to” for people with vulvas.
How to finger yourself - everything to know before starting
“Fingering” refers to the act of penetrating the vaginal canal with one or more fingers. It’s widely popular for a number of reasons; it offers more precision in penetration, it’s something that can be done as outercourse and solo-play - but most importantly is something that you can do 100% yourself - no partners, toys, or accessories needed.
Basically you just need your own fingers to have a great time.
While the act of fingering might seem self-explanatory, what a lot of people don’t know is actually how to make fingering yourself feel good, or how to finger yourself “correctly.” One thing good to know beforehand is the basic anatomy of your vulva and the difference from it to the vagina - check out our complete guide with all the info you need!
You should know that there are many different ways to finger yourself and this highly depends on what feels good to you. There’s no fixed recipe. But one of the reasons why a lot of people are left wondering “why doesn't it feel good when I finger myself” is that you might be jumping to baking before preheating the oven.
Basically, most vulvic people need stimulation to the glans of the clitoris in order for penetration to feel good (even with fingers!). This is because the clitoris swells when stimulated - and its inside bulbs glue to the vaginal canal, allowing for penetration to feel good. If you’d like to know more about how this works we have a full article here on the clitoral anatomy!
But the gist of it is; taking time to stimulate your whole vulva is the best way to ensure fingering actually feels good. Next, we will uncover all the secrets of masturbation to make you sure you know exactly how to finger yourself!
How to finger yourself: Preparation
Washing hands
This might seem obvious, but it’s a step that is skipped by many people. We’re always touching all kinds of dirty stuff - money, public rails, door knobs - and we do not need to carry all that dirt inside ourselves. Give those hands a good wash before getting down to business.
Cutting nails/using gloves or finger protection The same way, long nails can make the whole experience very uncomfortable. You don’t need to cut them if you like them long, you can use finger cots or even an erotic glove - an inexpensive and versatile sex toy which can be your best friend in vaginal playing.
Having lube handy
How to make yourself wet? Well, lube is one of the best ways to instantly improve your sex life - whether we’re talking self masturbation or partnered play. Especially talking penetration; it’s a way to increment your natural lubrication which will make everything easier and more pleasurable.
Setting the mood
Make time for yourself
Sure, being on a rush can sometimes be sexy. But taking your time and making sure the experience is stress-free is one of the key elements on how to make fingering yourself feel good. Make sure you have the time, space, and privacy to really explore yourself without any interruptions.
Watch/read/listen
The Internet is a giant playground when it comes to erotic content. There’s visual porn, audio and written erotica, and even games for all tastes and purposes. If you need something to get yourself in the mood you’re sure to find content that is up your alley.
We love the XConfessions films by Erika Lust! They are a wonderful way to get you in the mood for fingering yourself.
How to finger yourself: Getting started
Gentle stimulation
Chilled and ready to go? Amazing! You can start by running your fingers over your body; explore the areas of your skin that feel good. Touch your nipples, your crotch, your lips. You might surprise yourself with your own erogenous zones.
Caress your labia
Vulva labia is charged with many nerve endings, therefore it can respond amazingly to the touch. You can gently run your fingers over them, rub them, or spread them.
Touch your clitoris
Remember: For most people, stimulation to the glans of the clitoris feels great. So make sure to explore that and get yourself very turned on before getting to fingering itself. Rub it in circles, from side to side, lightly tap against it. You can try different ways and see what feels best for you.
How to finger yourself: Fingering techniques
Tap against the entrance
Ready to put your fingers inside? Well, you might want to tease yourself before by lightly tapping your fingertips against your vaginal entrance, and penetrating just slightly until you can’t take it anymore.
Press against your vaginal walls
Once you have your finger inside, gently press the sides. This is where the bulbs of the clitoris are located, and the region is super sensitive.
Practise your in-and-out motion
This is the classic that comes to mind when thinking about how to finger yourself. The in-and-out is the favourite of many, and can be specially spicy with two or more fingers.
Scissor your fingers
With two fingers inside, separate them as they go in. This combines the stimulation of canal walls with the sensation of something penetrating in and out.
Go for g-spot stimulation
Your g-spot is a bundle of nerve endings right behind the clitoris glans. Because it’s so sensitive, stimulating it can make you see stars. To find it, simply make a “come here” motion with your fingers with the palm of your hand facing upwards.
Try the double trouble
With two fingers inside and your palm up, press your thumb against your clit. You can circle or tap against it while moving the other fingers inside the vagina. This guarantees pressing against all the most sensitive spots for maximum pleasure.
Introduce a toy
If you’re ready for more, a small finger vibrator can be what you need to take fingering yourself to the next level. They are silicone toys meant to go around your fingers, which have different textures and of course - transform your finger into a little vibrator.
What are your own tips on how to finger yourself? Which one of these would you like to try? Stay tuned for more complete guides on self-pleasure for women and vulvic people soon!